Yes I do, my life is occupied with school work. Its exhausting, but we need do this in order to succeed. I miss the weekends when I barely have homework, school nights that I can get rest, having time to enjoy my high school life and at the same time engrossed with everything. There are times at night when I just want to burst out into tears because I'm so sick of homework and I just feel like withdrawing. I don't want to follow the footsteps of some people I know, they now have to work extra hard to get things. I want to be successful and I fear not being one.
Its fun not having someone like my mom not order me around, but its so hard so I do miss her being a mother to me. Being the only one responisible is hard, even tho I had more independence than I should have deserved. My family seems so lingered from one another, everyone has their own things. Mother at work, father at the gym or construction work, brother working or spending time with his friends, sister with her sports and me with homework. We don't even have a dinner together anymore, I remember those days when I wake up on Saturday and a filipino style breakfast is ready & waiting for me. Now, I have to go to McDonald's or something just to get something to eat. One of the reasons, I'm turning fat.
Yestreday, was one of the days I've never had in such a long time. I miss Ms. Annalee, my best support system. Our deep ass talks and just getting to be ladies shopping like there's no tomorrow. Our lives might be so different and having it's down falls right now, but we still made time for one another. I envy how you can always stand for that older sister I've always wanted. I know you will always be the one helping me stand strong and your the only one actually supporting me with every decesion I make.
Why don't school officials understand the challenges we are facing right now? We are still young, getting only about 6 hours of sleep a night. This is so heart breaking, knowing that later on when I'm old sitting down telling my grandkids my teenage stories, it will be about school and the sacrifices I took & not being able to enjoy life as much. I know that God is here with me every second, making sure I don't lose hope and guiding me through it. Like what the bible said, he chooses the ones who will be poor, rich or whatever. But it's all up to you if you want that to happen. Don't give up is the only words running through my head each time I feel like dropping my on knees.
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